Spread (2009)

 

Directed by: David Mackenzie

Starring: Ashton Kutcher, Anne Heche, Margarita Levieva, Sebastian Stan and Ashley Johnson

Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance

Rated: R

Nikki is a womanizing playboy sleeping his way through LA. An attractive man in his late twenties to early thirties, he lives out of a backpack, seducing older, successful women in order to find a place to stay. The film follows him and his current conquest, Samantha, a beautiful, wealthy attorney with a mansion and a Mercedes. He quickly wins her over at a club and worms his way into being her kept boy, living in her house, spending her money, and cheating on her whenever she’s not around. It isn’t until he meets Heather, a waitress that rebuffs his attempts to woo her, that he decides he might want something more. Can he change his womanizing ways and get the girl or is there more to Heather than he expected?

Ugh, the shit I will subject myself to when I really like an actor – I will literally watch anything that person is in. 

Damn it, Sebastian!

I was bored, it was late at night, and this was free on Tubi, so I figured ‘what the hell? Could be okay.’ It wasn’t.

Ashton Kutcher leads the film as Nikki and I honestly didn’t find him that believable. He is objectively attractive but his charms and the voice he chose to use for Nikki don’t work for me. (Someone on IMDb described his voice as a Lifetime movie drug addict, and yeah, that’s accurate.) However, I’m not sure another actor could do much better considering how Nikki is written. The actors can only do so much with the script and direction they’re given.

It doesn’t help Nikki’s likeability factor that he narrates the film so the audience is in his head hearing whatever insipid thought and Pick Up Artist bullshit he comes up with. He’s such an arrogant asshole throughout 75 – 80% of the movie. He treats women as disposable sex toys and his one true friend like his personal assistant. I don’t see how he has so many women falling all over themselves to be with him or how he’s gotten away with literally treating everyone so poorly, when almost everyone he encounters is a better, more successful person than him.

Nikki is a hobosexual in designer clothes with a supposedly silver tongue and he's annoying as hell. By the time his world begins crashing around him, I was giddy at the thought of him finally getting his comeuppance. The attempt at a redemption arc is weak because it feels forced – the first half of the film gives no indications that Nikki would ever want to give up his lifestyle. He does because he runs out of options.

Anne Heche’s Samantha seems way too smart to fall for Nikki’s advances. She tries to get away from him more than once, but I guess she finds his persistence charming and endearing rather than irritating and creepy. He wins her over in a matter of minutes and she takes him home where they have lots of sex and he explains in a voiceover how he works his way into staying with these women long term. I don’t find it realistic that a woman like Samantha would be so easily duped. The story leans heavily on the idea that Samantha is very insecure and Nikki definitely takes advantage of that, using her feelings for him and her insecurities against her whenever he gets caught doing something shitty. After she catches him cheating, they fight then have make up sex, and she continues to let him stay. At that point I stated out loud to my empty living room, “The dick can’t be that fucking good! Kick his ass out!” She even gets vaginal reconstruction surgery to “tighten her up” down there – I guess she thinks he prefers the younger women he cheats with because they are tighter? 

He cheats because he’s an asshole using you for your money. He doesn’t respect you and definitely doesn’t love you.

The somewhat pathetic actions of this character contrast with the way Heche plays her. Heche gives her a strong, confident air that gives the impression she doesn’t put up with anyone’s shit. Nothing in what she says or the way she carries herself as the character would indicate any weakness or self doubt. She made Samantha feel like an actual person when the script didn’t call for her to do something ridiculous like jump the bones of the man she just caught cheating or get vaginal reconstruction surgery out of nowhere. Samantha deserves better.

Eating lunch in a diner, Nikki’s wandering eye lands on Heather, his waitress who is very unimpressed with his efforts to flirt with her. She continues to impress him by thwarting all of his usual techniques. At first I thought she was messing with him, giving him a taste of his own medicine since he wouldn’t take no for an answer and leave her the hell alone. Sadly, that is not the case. The two do engage in a whirlwind romance, despite him being creepily pushy and, on the night it seems like he’s getting what he wanted, calling her a whore because he thinks she has a boyfriend and kicking her out of Samantha’s house. Hypocrite, much?

The Only Appropriate Response to Nikki ... Ever

Margarita Levieva brings charm and sass to the role of Heather. She gives Heather an assertive exterior, one that isn’t easily ruffled by weak pick up lines and cheap tactics. She’s fun at first, but she has her share of secrets too, secrets that push her and Nikki closer together. Levieva also breaks this façade to show vulnerability when the occasion calls for it. The issue is there isn’t much chemistry between her and Ashton Kutcher. That on top of his character being an absolute dickhead really makes it hard to root for them as a couple.

The character that gets screwed over the most is Harry, Nikki’s best friend, loyal to a fault and treated like shit. Anything Nikki wants, Harry will do. You need me to drive this drunk ex fling home so she won’t talk to the other girls you’re trying to hook up with? Fine. You need me to be your wingman while you try to hook up with the waitress at the diner? Sure. You need to store your belongings at my apartment while you live as some rich lady’s boy toy? Okay. Time after time he does what Nikki asks and Nikki is a dick to him, teasing him about his shyness with women and his pet frogs, whining about how his things smell after being stored in Harry’s apartment, bossing him around. I was so happy when Harry began to stand up for himself. I feel like nothing good really happens for Harry, but I want to believe the last scene with him and Eva awkwardly staring at each other led to them getting together.

The hardest thing to believe about Harry is that women never approach him. He’s played by Sebastian Stan and this film wants us to believe he can’t catch a single woman’s attention? 

You mean to tell me THIS GUY can't attract a woman?!
Whatever you say, movie. (Source)

Yeah, okay. I get that he’s shy and quiet, but I guarantee there would still be a line of women hoping to break him out of his shell.

I know who I'd choose. However, I too am very shy. 
On the odd chance there was a mutual attraction
we'd probably stare awkwardly at each other forever.

While Harry is a stalwart and true friend to Nikki, Sebastian Stan gives him an undercurrent of being sick of Nikki’s shit. Its exhausting being Nikki’s best friend and Harry begins to let his irritation with Nikki show more and more with each scene they share. When Harry finally blows up at Nikki, the only one surprised is Nikki. 

Gif Source

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I was so proud of him here.
(Gif Set Source)

Harry could have been a one note character, and with another actor portraying him he might have been, but Sebastian Stan has such an attention grabbing presence even a rather boring and flat character on paper can feel like a real person.

Ashley Johnson shows up in the last act as Heather’s stoner roommate Eva who agrees to help Nikki in the cliché rom-com trope of chasing Heather down to prove his love for her. She’s bubbly and cute, providing a little bit of comic relief, but Ashley Johnson is what makes the character memorable.

While this is marketed as a sex comedy, I was absolutely not prepared for just how much sex there would be. The first half of the movie is mostly sex scenes with Nikki banging various women in Samantha’s house. There are a lot of naked women, with a very unexpected and graphic close up of Anne Heche full frontal being pleasured, and a few shots of Ashton Kutcher’s bare ass. It’s basically a soft-core porno with a minor amount of plot for the first forty minutes or so. How this managed an R rating is beyond me. 

At about the halfway mark the film switches gears and becomes more of a drama as Nikki’s reality begins to crumble. There is little to no comedy to be found.

The film seems to be trying to comment on the shallow, vapid lives of the wealthy and those who long for it, but the attempts fall flat. It focuses too much on Nikki and his conquests, spending so much time depicting him as an obnoxious douche bag the viewer can’t stand him and doesn’t care if he finds a way to win the girl and redeem himself. Women are all portrayed as gold diggers willing to give it up to any rich man or as lonely middle-aged women, who despite all their successes rely on young men to silence their insecurities by treating them as sexual objects. We’re nothing if men don’t want to have sex with us, don’t ya know?

The cinematography is nice with pretty shots of the LA skyline and the set for Samantha’s house, while too modern for my tastes, was still very beautiful. Aside from that and the few decent performances listed above, there’s nothing good about this movie. The plot is weak, the main character unlikable at best, and the rest only elevated by the aforementioned performances. Unless you’re a huge fan of one of the actors involved and insist on seeing everything they’ve ever been in, skip this one.

4/10

Don’t Worry Darling (2022)

 

Directed By: Olivia Wilde

Starring: Florence Pugh, Harry Styles, Chris Pine, Nick Kroll and Olivia Wilde

Genre: Drama, Thriller

Rated: R

In the idyllic 1950s desert community of Victory, housewife Alice begins to suspect all is not what it seems. The town is an experimental utopia centered around a mysterious company with a vague mission that employs all the husbands. While the men work their wives are left home to tend to the house and children, attend exercise classes and do the shopping. After her friend Margaret starts acting strangely and Alice has some experiences she can’t explain, she can’t help but ask questions. Is there something sinister about the town of Victory or is it all in Alice’s mind?

This film has received a lot of hate and I’m not quite certain as to why. It’s not a perfect movie by any means but it is far from bad. I know there are rumors of serious drama behind the scenes and an animosity toward Olivia Wilde herself, but none of this affects the movie on the whole.

The acting from Florence Pugh is truly what carries the film. Her emotions are tangible – her happiness, her confusion, her fear, her desperation. She makes Alice believable; a character to care about and root for despite the fact the audience is unsure if Alice is a reliable narrator. We want to believe her; we want to solve the mystery; we want her to be okay. I have yet to see a performance from her that I don’t love.

I was surprised by Harry Styles’s performance as I honestly didn’t know he did acting, having only known him as a member of the boy band One Direction, a solo artist and Taylor Swift’s ex. He and Florence Pugh have decent chemistry which is another element that held the story together as they, as a couple, are kind of the lynchpin to making it work. At first his character, Jack, is the loving, devoted husband that simply enjoys his life with her, but this façade begins to wear away the more Alice pushes to uncover the truth. He pulls off the charming, sweet and seductive husband as well as the more selfish, angry and whiney manchild and the devolution in between.

The only other stand-out performance is Chris Pine as Frank – the charismatic founder of The Victory Project that everyone in town seems to worship. He’s arrogant and gives frequent speeches consisting of propaganda and empty words that no one else seems to see through except Alice (and Margaret before her). I did have a bit of a hard time seeing how everyone could be falling all over themselves for this man, sucking up to him, hanging on every word he says, changing their attire to match his style. Sure he’s handsome and somewhat charismatic, but he’s also a conceited douche that talks and talks but has nothing to really say. It seems that Alice, Margaret and the audience are the only ones that can see this while everyone else absorbs the bullshit he spews and it does feel intentional. It’s obvious, at least through Alice’s perspective, that this man is not on the up-and-up. He’s also a creep who watches people have sex and tells women they’re “good girls” for cooking dinner.

The rest of the performances aren’t particularly memorable but neither are the characters. Considering the film’s major plot reveal, I believe this is also intentional. Going into the discussion any further would risk major spoilers.

The story is definitely derivative of The Stepford Wives with a more modern twist. Sadly, this concept is still terrifyingly relevant; this era of the 1940s – 1960s is romanticized by many who weren’t alive for it or led privileged lives during it. Aside from the risk of being drafted into war, this era was really only good for white, heterosexual, cis-gender men. Many modern women / femme presenting people /people assigned female at birth find the idea of being forced into that kind of life horrifying. This film reflects that fear and comments on the rise of inceldom and “alpha male” podcasts. It also feels like a commentary on how empty and boring the lives of women seemed to be in that era.

Having a woman as the director, the film is clearly shot with the female gaze. No objectification of anyone, male or female – the sex scenes sensual and hot without nudity. The sex scenes are also based solely on the woman’s pleasure which I’ve never seen in a film before between a heterosexual couple. In the two we are given, Jack uses his mouth and fingers on Alice, but she never does anything to reciprocate and they never engage in intercourse. I found that interesting and wondered if there was a point being made there, but that particular question is never answered.

My only theory is this focus on female pleasure early in the film is a tool to show the devolution of their relationship as the story develops. When Alice is being the perfect little housewife, keeping the house clean, making extravagant meals, happily greeting him at the door impeccably dressed, coifed and made up, and being the supportive submissive arm candy at parties, she’s rewarded. (Although, I have to say I would be quite pissed if the delicious meal I spent hours cooking was knocked off the table because my horny husband wants to ravish me. I don’t care how good it’s going to feel, I spent all day on that! What the hell man?) It could also be an aspect of control, as when Jack goes for a quickie at his boss’s house during a party he doesn’t stop when she protests. It’s still about her pleasure, but he decides when and where he wants to give it to her. Jack also does this annoying thing where he thumbs her bottom lip – watching it irritates me so much I want to bite him. Alice seems rather indifferent to the gesture but it is so cringey to me.

The cinematography and soundtrack also boost the film. The imagery is beautiful, including, and maybe especially, the weird flashy hallucinations/dreams Alice seems to have. The music aids and influences the mood. The setting feels very retro and of-the-time despite being shot through a modern lens, which, again, knowing the twist, feels like an intentional contrast.

For me, the film’s biggest issue is the numerous unanswered questions. Once we learn what is really happening, the story kind of rushes to a close without explaining much. I get that the runtime was already slightly over two hours, but I’d rather watch a longer film in order to have my questions answered. To list them would be to spoil the entire reveal, but there are numerous aspects of the plot I was left wondering about.

To me this was worth the watch. I found it suspenseful and fun with a strong heroine to root for and follow. I was never bored, the strange occurrences and mysterious projects kept me guessing along with Alice as to what was going on. If it didn’t leave so many things unexplained I would have rated it a bit higher. Still it is not as bad as people say – strong performances, especially from Florence Pugh, engrossing storyline, great soundtrack and nice cinematography make it a decent film, but it could have been better.

6.5/10

Peace, Love, & Misunderstanding (2011)

Directed by: Bruce Beresford

Starring: Jane Fonda, Catherine Keener, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Elizabeth Olsen, Chase Crawford, Nat Wolff, Marissa O'Donnell, Rosanna Arquette and Kyle McLachlan

Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance

Rated: R

When her husband announces he wants a divorce, uptight New York City attorney, Diane Hudson, packs her young adult children in the car and takes them on a vacation to stay with her eccentric, hippie mother in Woodstock. Having been estranged from her mother, Grace, for twenty years, Diane has a hard time coming home and an even more difficult time understanding what brought her back. Slowly, but surely, the charms of her hometown start to loosen her up, as she and her children begin to explore themselves and find out who they really are.

Fair warning, this film contains male nudity, alcohol consumption, marijuana consumption, pagan spirituality and a lot of liberal politics. If any of that bothers you, you may want to avoid this one. The rest of you, please follow me as we continue with the review. 

I wasn't sure what to expect going into this film, but I'm glad I decided to watch it. I was in need of a relaxing, feel-good film with relatable, likable characters and a decent plot and this film delivered. I enjoy films that take me on a journey of self-discovery and letting go of the past with the characters, and Diane is reluctantly leading the way, with her daughter, Zoe, and son, Jake, not far behind.

Diane is the exact opposite of her mother, Grace, and has spent forty years resenting Grace for her free spirit, obsession with art, sexual nature, marijuana use, and liberal politics. Despite staying with Grace, she doesn't want Grace rubbing off on Zoe and Jake, not seeming to realize her kids may have minds of their own. It takes a few days, good company with free spirited ladies, and a budding relationship with Jude, a man very much her opposite, to get Diane to unwind and begin to let go. Once she starts, she can never really stop, even when she returns to her stuffy New York City life.

Zoe reluctantly begins to fall for Cole, an educated, organic food pushing, peace loving young man who works at the local butcher shop - a career choice Zoe has a hard time supporting as she appears to be either vegetarian or vegan. (The film isn't clear on which, but Zoe is very upset about the thought of killing animals.) She's conflicted despite Cole's explanation for why he does what he does and has a hard time determining if she wants to be with him or not.

The ladies of the Hudson family aren't the only ones to find relationships in Woodstock, as shy, nerdy teenager Jake meets his equally shy and nerdy muse, Tara, at an anti-war protest. Tara, in turn, inspires him to create his first short film with the footage he's constantly collecting with his video camera while vacationing in Woodstock. 

This film made me want to move to this fictionalized version of Woodstock. While I'm not much for smoking pot, I do enjoy enlightened, liberal minded, free spirits who prefer to promote peace and love and supporting one another, rather than fighting, hating and judging one another. The background characters, Grace, Jude, Cole and Tara are all relaxed, happy people who just go about their lives living as they want and enjoying life's natural beauty. These folks are what the Hudson family needs to help them shake off their negative energy and find relaxing positivity and happiness. Jude explains it best when he tells Diane, "you are so caught up in fighting everyone that you can't let in those who love you the most ... Let it go. ... The fight is like a sandbag you need to release in order for the balloon to float into the sky." (This is a bit paraphrased, not an exact quote.) 

The acting was done well, and all actors were perfectly cast. Jane Fonda embodies all that is lively, fun and free within Grace, and really brings the character to life. Catherine Keener does well as the uptight Diane, knowing how to show Diane's slow evolution into a freer spirit as it gradually happens. In the beginning of the film, her face is tight, wan and stressed, but as the film progresses her face becomes less severe, brighter though still serious, until she is finally able to smile. Elizabeth Olsen's performance is similar, though she's more light-hearted, she is still closed off when it comes to love, and again, appears to become happier as her character opens herself up to new ideas and experiences. Nat Wolff is adorably awkward, making Jake a relatable film geek that doesn't have the first clue how to approach a girl. Lastly, Jeffrey Dean Morgan is ridiculously charming as hippie musician and carpenter, Jude, bringing a gentle softness to the character that is refreshing for me as I am used to his gruff portrayal of John Winchester on Supernatural. 

I really liked that while everyone still paired off with their perfect mate, the sole purpose was not about finding romantic love. It was about finding oneself through a community of peers, some of whom think differently than you do, but can teach you a lot about yourself if you're willing to open yourself up and listen. Yes, Zoe and Diane find this through romantic partners, but it is their relationship with Grace that loosens them up enough to accept these men who are far different from who they believe themselves to be. I felt the message of the film was more, "In order to have a successful relationship, you need to embrace yourself, open yourself up to new experiences and ideas, find someone who builds you up and embraces you for you, and embrace them for who they are in turn." Which is a much better message than the typical, "Romantic love is all you need." This is a film that promotes all kinds of love, whether it is the love of a family, the love of a community, or romantic love. We all need a variety of love and support in our lives, and it is nice that this film doesn't negate any form in which love and peace can be found. 

Overall, this was an enjoyable watch film that promotes self discovery, inner peace, and a variety of love ranging from that of your community, your friends, a romantic partner and your family. I found this movie heart-warming and inspiring. I will likely be making another visit to this version of Woodstock someday. 

7/10

The Roommate (2011)

Directed by: Christian E. Christiansen

Starring: Leighton Meester, Minka Kelly, Cam Gigandet, Aly Michalka, Danneel Harris Ackles (as Danneel Harris), Frances Fisher and Billy Zane

Genre: horror, thriller, drama

Rated: PG-13

College freshman, Sara Matthews, seems to have everything going her way this year. Despite breaking up with her high school sweetheart, she seems to be getting everything she wants. She’s caught the eye of the cute drummer, Stephen, landed a coveted spot in a specific design class she wanted, gotten to party with her friends and seems to have a pretty cool, if a bit odd, roommate named Rebecca. What Sara doesn’t realize, however, is that Rebecca has developed a psychotic obsession with her, and will stop at nothing to keep their friendship alive.

Hello, Single White Female rip-off! We thought you were done after the 1990s ended, yet here you sit, watering down a classic thriller from its R-rated glory for this new generation of teenyboppers. It took me a long time to bring myself to watch this movie as I knew what it was from the trailer and just sighed at the lack of creativity coming out of Hollywood. I really didn’t want to see talented actresses like Bridget Fonda and Jennifer Jason Leigh replaced by the cream of the CW crop in what was sure to be a far less suspenseful film. It was playing on cable late last night, so, rather than go to bed, I opted to finally give it a watch. The result? About what I had expected.

Many plot points were lifted directly from the obvious source material with only slight changes made – such as the roomies having a pet they share that *SPOILER* eventually meets a bad end (In this film it is a kitten, in SWF it was a puppy); the crazy roommate copying a very personal aspect of the heroine’s appearance and eventually completely disguising herself as the heroine; the heroine dealing with unwanted sexual advances from a man in a position of authority; the heroine dealing with an ex that refuses to give up on their relationship. All of these similar plot devices and the absurdly obvious foreshadowing used early on cause the movie to be incredibly predictable.

The body count is lower than its predecessor, with Rebecca opting for assault and kidnapping over murder. There is little to no blood, even in scenes where there should be, either during the numerous assaults, or when Rebecca finally does resort to killing people. Her weapon is incredibly impractical too – I’m sorry, movie, you have not sold me on the idea that stabbing someone in the back with a 1 inch box cutter blade can fatally wound them.

The performances are okay at best, with Meester’s being the strongest. Leighton Meester is able to bring Rebecca to life and even make her somewhat sympathetic, while at the same time portraying her as crazy and a little creepy. She was the only interesting character, and the only one I felt anything for throughout the entire film. Her victim, Sara, is rather bland, and despite her social life and varying interests, I found her rather dull and boring. I couldn’t understand why Rebecca became so obsessed with Sara, as she could barely hold my interest. Honestly, I found the character of Irene (Harris-Ackles), Sara’s friend and mentor, to be far more interesting than Sara herself, and Irene had maybe ten minutes of total screen time. Billy Zane is charming as always, despite playing a lecherous professor – the man is far too charismatic and talented to be reserved for such a bit role in a flick like this. Cam Gigadet is somewhat charming as Stephen, but I was put off by his character when his first conversation with Sara involved him and his fellow frat brothers having to get women drunk to have sex with them. 

Aside from the performances, the film does have a few other positives going for it. Despite being predictable, it is able to generate some decent suspense in places – such as the shower sequence and when Sara enters Irene’s apartment toward the end of the film. I did like the atmosphere created by the dimmed lighting, dull set coloring, and soundtrack – it gave the film a tenser vibe. Lastly, I liked that the girl-on-girl kiss scene was done well, seductive without being exploitive, which is a rather rare thing these days.

Overall, this is yet another rip-off of the far superior Single White Female from 1992, only this time it’s based in college. The films are incredibly similar to the point where each action Rebecca makes is predictable. Some details have been altered from the original story, but not enough to cover the glaring inspiration. There are some positive aspects to this flick, but nothing to raise it above the mediocre copy cat that it is.

5/10

So Weird (1999-2001)

Genre: TV Show, Children/Family, Drama, Supernatural, Mystery, Adventure, Thriller

Rated: TV-Y7 – for children seven years and older.

Heralded by fans as The X-Files for kids, this Disney Channel Original Series follows a young girl, obsessed with the paranormal, as she travels the country with her musician mother. Along the way she encounters weird events, ranging from ghosts to aliens to mysterious creatures, and documents them all on her website, bringing the viewer along for the ride.

Season 1

Starring: Cara DeLizia, Patrick Levis, Erik von Detten, Dave ‘Squatch’ Ward, Belinda Metz, and Mackenzie Phillips

Guest Starring: Kyla Pratt and Chris Gibson

Fiona “Fi” Phillips is just your average teenage girl. She struggles with geometry, fights with her brother, and can shoot hoops with the boys like a natural. Oh, and she’s the daughter of a musician and lives on a tour bus with her mother, Molly, brother, Jack, and Jack’s best friend, Clu. She is also very interested in the paranormal, and runs a website dedicated to strange phenomena. Due to this interest, she seems to encounter strange occurrences wherever she and the band travel.

Fi encounters all sorts of weird things in the first season, ranging from ghosts to mythical creatures. I love how open-minded she is to whatever may be lurking around her, despite the skepticism of her watchful older brother. Once Fi catches the scent of something supernatural happening in her area, she works tirelessly until she solves the mystery, and doesn’t allow anyone to dissuade her from finding the truth.

This leads to her doing a lot of good, such as reuniting a ghost child with his dead parents, saving the life of a young woman who could leave her body at will, reuniting an old man with his lost dog, and leading a young woman out of a fourteen-year coma. It also leads to a possible negative reaction to her in the spirit world, which is hinted at by a spirit that possesses Jack in the season finale. It is made pretty clear that the next season is going to take a darker turn, and delve deeper into the supernatural realm, as well as reveal things Fi may not want to know about her father’s death.

Season one is a solid opener for the series. I love how each episode is prefaced with a little background of the content it is based on. Often times this provides a brief history lesson, either of events or theories, which are both interesting and educational to younger viewers, and since it’s narrated by Fi, the audience is more likely to pay attention and retain this knowledge, however minute it may be.

The characters introduced in the first season are also great. Fi is fantastic. I love how determined she is to seek out the truth. I love that she isn’t afraid to investigate, nor is she shy about interviewing people about weird phenomena, no matter how crazy they think she is. She’s smart and nerdy, but she’s cool, and I felt, at the time it aired, like I could relate to her. (Heck, I still feel that way rewatching it at twenty-five!)

 I enjoy the relationship between Fi and Molly, where there is mutual respect, support, and love at all times – even when Molly doesn’t believe Fi’s theories. Despite the unconventional lifestyle, Molly is still a great Mom, balancing support and fun with firmness and discipline. I feel that the show demonstrates a healthy parent/child relationship despite life on the road, and supports a loving family dynamic despite differences in beliefs.

I also like that Fi’s relationship with her older brother is complex. As a little sister, I know that it’s not always easy to deal with a protective older brother, especially when he also likes to tease you. It can get annoying, and Fi usually becomes fed up with Jack’s quips and skepticism pretty quickly. They fight often, with either Clu or Molly cutting in to keep the peace, but in the end, they love each other more than anything and will do anything to protect one another. The thought of losing Jack, despite his irritating behavior, is terrifying for Fi, as he is also her only ally, going along with her plans despite his disbelief in them. Throughout the season, there are a couple great emotional scenes between the siblings, especially in “Singularity” (Season 1, Episode 11) when Fi thinks she may be trapped in a wormhole forever, and in “Willow O’ the Wisp” (Season 1, Episode 13), when she saves him from the possessing spirit.

Lastly, I enjoy the character of Clu. He may come off as the typical dumb, comic relief character, but he does have a little depth to him. He also sees Fi as a little sister and is willing to protect her at all costs, when he’s not mindlessly following her into the fray. When there is a fight between Fi and Jack, Clu often lends a supportive ear to one of the siblings, and sometimes offers some decent advice. He’s silly and fun, and while not the brightest, he still can provide help when either Fiona or Jack need it.

Overall, the first season is smart, slightly creepy and well characterized. All of the episodes are interesting, ranging from slightly creepy to emotional dramas, however only two really stand out to me. The first of these is the episode, “Rebecca,” (Season 1, Episode 9) where Molly runs into a teenage girl who looks exactly like her childhood best friend who just disappeared on her one day. What Molly doesn’t know is that this girl is her long lost best friend Rebecca, the girl just doesn’t age normally. The ending is powerful, matched with a beautiful song about the friendship performed by Molly. I admit it, I caught myself tearing up, and I’m not ashamed to do so.

The second episode that really stands out is the season finale, “Willow O’ the Wisp,” due to its blend of comedy, horror and suspense. Patrick Levis nailed the performance, even pulling off a Scottish accent, mixing creepy smiles and slightly menacing lines with humorous bouts of hyperactivity. This episode introduced a recurring villain in the series, and indicated a darker turn for the series in the upcoming season.

6.5/10

Season 2

Starring: Cara DeLizia, Patrick Levis, Mackenzie Phillips, Erik von Detten, Belinda Metz, Dave “Squatch” Ward and Eric Lively

Guest Starring: Jewel Staite, Henry Winkler, The Moffats, Bo Diddley, Chris Gibson and MacKenzie Gray

The viewers rejoin Fi and her family on the road for another twenty-six episodes of investigating the paranormal. As alluded to in the previous season, things become a bit darker in Season Two, which delves deeper into the back story surrounding Fi’s father. Early in the season we see that Rick, Fi’s father, has reached out and attempted to communicate with both her and Molly. As the season wears on, Fi learns more about her father than she ever expected, and finally fills that void his death left within her.

The characters continue to develop well throughout the season. Fi and Jack still share that complex, love/annoyed relationship, and things get strained for a while between Molly and Fi, when an old friend of Molly and Rick’s reveals something about Rick that Fi wished she had known all along – a connection between them that makes her realize she’s not entirely alone in her weird interests.

Clu hangs around for the first few episodes, but leaves for college after Episode 7: Mutiny. In his place, the viewers are introduced to Cary, Clu’s older brother, who is a musician and a hopeless romantic, falling head over heels for almost every young woman he meets. A college drop-out, Cary is hired to be Molly’s guitar player, and thus fills the space Clu leaves in his wake. Cary becomes a bit of an older brother to both Jack and Fi, taking over Clu’s role as peace-maker between the two.

There are some great episodes in this season, making it a favorite among most fans. This season brought us some of the most memorable episodes, such as “Siren,” where Fi discovers that the talented young singer at the local club is actually a siren that has been forced into playing music against her will. Jewel Staite (of Firefly and Flash Forward fame) guest stars as the titular creature, bringing to life one of the most memorable one-shot characters in the series.

Next, we have the episode “Banshee,” where Fi has to face the spirit world in order to save her grandfather, and Molly has to mend her relationship with her father. The song she wrote for him seems to mend all wounds between the two, and the scene where Molly sings it to him is very moving. On that same note, the episodes “James Garr” and “Encore” are also very emotional, one involving a relationship Jack forms with an old man dying of lymphoma, the other depicts a ghostly duet between Molly and Rick. Lastly, the season finale, “Twin,” gives Fi the closure she needs regarding her father.

There are some weak points to this season as well. The episodes “Oopa,” “Troll,” and “Shelter” while entertaining, feel like mostly filler between the stronger episodes. They had fun or interesting premises, but no real follow-through, leaving either an interesting foundation for what could have been a great episode/story arc, or comedic fluff. Also, there is a continuity gap between episodes “Strange Geometry” and “Fall,” where Fi is supposed to be angry with Molly, but it is never mentioned “Fountain,” the episode between the two. So Fi goes from being mad, to fine, to mad again in a span of three episodes. It’s a minor detail, but I found it a little jarring.

Overall, a very strong season with a few minor missteps; it is understandable why so many fans claim this is the best season out of the three. It’s darker, creepier and more emotional than the first, and carries a story arc, where the first had more of a monster-of-the-week style. The characters are more developed and the majority of the episodes interesting. Season two only builds from the foundation that Season One laid out.

7/10

Season Three

Starring: MacKenzie Phillips, Patrick Levis, Eric Lively, Belinda Metz, Dave “Squatch” Ward, and Alexz Johnson

Guest Starring: Cara DeLizia, Erik von Detten, Emily Hart, Samantha Ferris, and Chris Gibson

In the season premiere, the viewers join Fi on one last weird adventure before she passes her ring (and with it, all things weird) to her new friend, Annie. Fi decides to stay with her Aunt Melinda in Seattle, opting for the normal teenage life, and Annie joins Molly and the gang on tour.

This season is probably the least popular out of the three, with many fans declaring it the point where Disney began to change for the worse (going for triple threat talents, every show having to involve singing, etc.). I don’t entirely agree with that sentiment – it is definitely different than the previous seasons, but I don’t necessarily consider that a bad thing.

Season Three is a lot lighter than the previous seasons, both in content and set décor. The sets are much brighter, painted with vivid colors, and Annie’s wardrobe is much more colorful than what Fi once wore. Molly sells the house depicted in the earlier seasons, for one with a lighter, brighter feel. Even the school Jack and Annie attend is brightly colored.

As for content, there aren’t any dark undertones running through this season. Almost every episode has a happy ending, and the weirdness is rarely as dangerous as the kind Fi once encountered. Still, this season contained some of the episodes that stuck with me most from the entire series, including “Detention,” “Banglebye,” “Pen Pal,” “Voodoo,” “A Grave Mistake,” and “Annie’s Song.”

I really liked the character of Annie and I’m glad she joined the show. While I think it would have been cool for her and Fi to have worked together and become best friends, Disney had its reasons for that not happening. (It would have made a great Season four, in my opinion, but at this time, Disney was putting a 65 episode limit on all Original Series.) Still, I think, and I know I’m in the minority here, that Annie did a great job taking the reins and carrying the show. She’s a bit more skeptical than Fi was, but often cannot help acknowledging that something supernatural is happening around her. She quickly forms a sibling-like bond with Jack and Cary, and seems to infatuate Clu early on, before becoming good friends with him. Her main passion, and one of the reason many fans don’t like her, is her music – she does have a great voice, and Molly mentors her as a blossoming performer. (As mentioned above, many fans pin point Annie as the character that started the annoying Disney trends of today.)

I also really enjoyed Annie’s backstory, which is fully explained in the episode, “Annie’s Song.” The season uses a lot of Native American folklore for a few of the episodes, as well as to address the truth behind Annie’s constant companion, the Panther.

The character development of the original cast keeps going strong. Molly is still a great Mom, able to balance touring, performing and raising kids – including one that she’s taken on as a favor for a friend (Annie). Jack is still skeptical of all things paranormal, but begins to find his passion by the end of the season. Clu and Cary remain pretty much the same as they’ve always been, with Clu making a lot of trips from college to visit the gang.

I really liked that, despite Fi being out of the show, the writers made sure not to forget about her. They have Annie correspond with Fi regarding the weird things she encounters, and have Fi as Molly’s main influence in getting home for Thanksgiving. Jack also misses Fi terribly and often references her in his talks with Annie.

The one thing I didn’t like about this season is that it did seem to ignore plot points from the prior episodes. For instance, in the episode “Talking Board,” Jack talks about a girl at school that he has a crush on, never once alluding to Gabe, the girl he’d had a long distance relationship with over the past two seasons. It’s almost as though Gabe was forgotten, which bothered me, because at the end of season two, Jack was still very much in love with her. Also, in the episode, “Dead Ringer,” Molly mentions that she, Fi and Jack lived in a particular house in the neighborhood she and Annie are exploring, when in the previous seasons, they had lived in their home all their lives. The house that the family lived in in seasons one and two was the house shown in Jack’s flashback of the night his father died in Season Two’s episode, “Nightmare.” These inaccuracies may only have caught my attention due to the fact that I binge-watched the series recently, but they were glaring to me. It felt like these plot points were being ignored to force the story forward in the belief that the viewer wouldn't notice.

Overall, I enjoyed this season, and I disagree that it is the worst of the series or that it was the beginning of the Disney Downfall. I think Annie is a great, interesting character with a fun background, and thought she was a great addition to the current cast. I would have liked to see more Fi and Annie together, but understand that was never in the cards. My only qualm with this season is the inaccuracies/ignorance of details from prior episodes.

7/10

This was one of my favorite shows growing up, and I found while rewatching it recently, that it still holds up relatively well. I think both Fi and Annie are great characters for young girls to follow – they’re independent, intelligent, witty and fun, and they never back away from doing the right thing. While they do care a little about their appearances and having friends, they would rather be intelligent, good people than popular and pretty. They are passionate about their interests, and aren’t afraid to venture into the unknown to solve a strange mystery.

I loved that the show depicts how a family can function just fine on the road, and also that family doesn’t end with blood. Ned, Irene, Cary, Clu and Annie are treated just like family to the Phillips clan, and it is obvious that these folks would do anything for each other, despite how weird it might seem. I feel this is always a great message to transmit to kids. You don’t have to live like everyone else to be normal, and family doesn’t end with blood.

The storylines were great as well. I feel this is a great introductory show for the scarier versions available for adults. Kids get a small look into the world of horror and sci-fi without being truly frightened. It also offers the closure of family love and happy endings.

Lastly, the soundtrack is fantastic. MacKenzie Phillips has a great voice and the songs she sings for the show are both catchy and a little haunting. Alexz Johnson’s contributions in Season Three are mostly of the Pop variety, while Phillips’s are more light rock, but they are fun to listen to – though they needn’t auto-tune Johnson’s voice so much. Also, in Season Three, Patrick Levis sings a beautiful lullaby while his character, Jack, is babysitting a toddler. I feel all of these songs should be compiled on an official soundtrack, and that it should be released to the general public.

I do agree with many fans that this show is superior to many shows available for kids today. It is a fun, slightly educational ride into the paranormal, with strong female leading ladies as your guides. A definite must-watch if you can get your hands on it.

Overall Series Rating:  7/10

Speak (2004)

Directed by: Jessica Sharzer

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Eric Lively, Michael Angarano, Hallee Hirsh, and Steve Zahn

Rated: PG-13

Genre: Teen, Drama

Based on the novel byLaurie Halse Anderson

It’s Melinda Sordino’s (Stewart) first year of high school and nothing is what she thought it would be. She enters the year with no friends and faces the wrath of her peers for an incident that happened over the summer. She called the cops at a party, everyone in attendance was busted, and only she knows the reason why she did it. Labeled a “squealer,” Melinda shrinks away from her peers and slowly stops talking altogether, losing herself in her art. As the end of the year rolls around, she realizes that she must tell her secret, she has to open her mouth and Speak.

I think this film did a very good job of capturing the essence of the novel. It stays mostly true to the story, only changing a few things here and there. I found it amusing that her history teacher’s name actually was “Mr. Neck” and not just what she called him. I didn’t like that they changed Andy Evans’s (Lively) character, or the final confrontation between him and Melinda at the climax of the novel, turning a highly suspenseful scene into a blink-and-it’s-over moment.

The acting was decent, with Stewart stealing the show as Melinda. She may get a lot of criticism from detractors over her lack of expression – but that worked for her in this film. Melinda is a depressed character, holding back a dark secret that she feels she can’t tell anyone. Stewart also has a knack for delivering witty lines with a deadpan face, which worked for the character as well. She can, however, express emotion, and does so very well.

Right behind Stewart’s performance is Steve Zahn’s as her art teacher, Mr. Freeman. It was nice to see Zahn in a serious role where he’s not getting naked or acting like an idiot. (Although those roles are usually rather hilarious.) He really takes an interest in her and her work, encouraging her at every turn, and being one of the main reasons she begins to have confidence again. His energy is contagious, and I couldn’t help but smile when he was onscreen.

I was surprised to see Eric Lively playing the main antagonist, Andy Evans. I grew up watching him as the kindly older brother figure on Disney’s So Weird, so it was a little strange seeing him as the bad guy. I was especially surprised at how good he was in the role. He and Kristen Stewart also had a great chemistry, and the scenes they share in the party flashbacks border on adorable in some cases. This chemistry is another reason why I didn’t like how anti-climactic the final confrontation between the two of them actually was.

The bullying was also amped up in the film. In the book, Melinda did face it a little, but not nearly as badly as in the film. Here the kids yell “Squealer” at her, making pig noises whenever she walks by, and throw things at her. She is ridiculed, her books slapped out of her hands, and signs taped to her back. Her teachers aren’t much better, with Mr. Neck deciding she’s a trouble maker from day one, yelling in her face and being an overall bigot. Lastly, her parents don’t even try to understand her, until after the final confrontation between her and Andy, when everyone finds out the truth. As with the novel, I was left wondering how no one seemed to realize that Melinda had gone through something very traumatic – something that changed her entire personality.

Overall, it’s a fairly compelling film with good performances from the leads. There are some deviations from the novel, and I didn’t like how rushed the final confrontation was, but it is still a solid film and worth a watch.

7/10

Karla (2006)

Directed by: Joel Bender

Starring: Laura Prepon, Misha Collins, Tess Harper and Patrick Bauchau

Rated: R

Genre: Thriller, Drama, True Crime

Based on the TrueCase of the Ken and Barbie Killers

In the early 1990s, Karla Homolka and her husband Paul Bernardo abducted, raped and killed two young women. Now, it’s 2000 and Karla Homolka is up for parole. She is being psychologically evaluated to determine whether she is eligible. Through this evaluation the viewer is told the story of her and her husband’s crimes, what they did and how they were stopped. However, it is told through Homolka’s perspective, so it’s not entirely accurate, something that has caused much anger and discontent among the viewers.

This film has garnered a lot of controversy. The crimes of Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka are still fresh in the minds of most Canadians, and the Canadian government refused to help the filmmakers in any way during production. This may also explain the inaccuracies in the story, such as the mistakes in the timeline – Leslie (Tina in the film) was killed after Paul and Karla got married, not before. There is no mention of the victim called “Jane Doe” – the only one to have survived her time with the couple – who Karla “gave” to her fiancée as a wedding present. (This could be for legal reasons.)

The people behind the film didn’t treat the material responsibly. The actors were not informed that the film was based on true events, and were then unprepared for the public outrage at their involvement. Misha Collins, who plays Paul Bernardo, has publically renounced the film, and asks people not to watch it. I have heard rumors that Laura Prepon has done the same, but found no evidence.

Below are clips of Misha discussing the film: 

The film also doesn’t do a good job of letting the public know that it is not arguing for Karla’s innocence. Since it is told from her perspective, we see the Battered Wives’ Syndrome defense working in her favor. She was so in love with Paul, she couldn’t bear the thought of losing him, and she was terrified of what he would do to her if she left. While she does some awful things in the film, if the audience hasn’t researched the real story, they might actually find themselves feeling a little sorry for her. The film makes no mention of the video tapes the couple made documenting the atrocities they committed, and especially the fact that in those tapes, Karla seems to be a very willing participant. The only reason she escaped a life-sentence is that she plea-bargained before the tapes were admitted into evidence, and since she met every letter of that agreement, she only had to serve twelve years in prison. The new evidence could not legally be held against her.  The only things the film states are whether Karla earned parole, her release date, and that she made no effort to make amends to the families of her victims. There are subtle touches within the plot itself that may point to her more active involvement, but nothing that points out the entire truth.

As for the actual film itself, it is well-made, despite the inaccuracies. The opening sequence is very artful and moving. Prepon and Collins have a natural chemistry and really do appear to be a young couple in love. The sequence reveals that there’s a darkness to this couple through a change in music from sweet and happy to more ominous, and a strong focus on the shadows.

What makes this film work are the performances. Prepon does a great job in this version of Homolka. She is honest and raw, and, I feel, tries to add more dimensions to the character. Karla does seem a little jealous of the girls Paul chases and brings home. She’s jealous that he wants her little sister, and is willing to ruin Tammy’s life in order to please him. Again – the subtle hints that she is more involved than she lets on. She is also capable of making Karla pitiable, which is no easy task.

Collins’s performance wavers a bit. Despite the fact that this film introduced me to his acting and made me a fan, I find him inconsistent in areas. There are times when I think he should be a bit more panicked – such as when they realize Tammy’s choked into unconsciousness, or when he realizes Tina has seen both of their faces. Other times, his performance is spot on. He can convincingly move from sweet and charming to scarily cold and violent within seconds. He seems to become more psychotic as the film rolls on, which could be linked to Paul’s unraveling due to fear of being caught.

The young victims did a great job too. While the names were changed to protect the deceased (or for legal reasons), the girls were sympathetic and it was heartbreaking to watch them go through such trauma. They were legitimately scared and attempted to protect themselves anyway they could. I especially liked Katelyn (Kristen French in real life) because she stood her ground until the very end.

As far as brutality goes, most of it is not shown. The viewer sees Paul slap, taunt, and pull the victims' hair, but everything else is shown through close-ups of his face and sound effects. Enough is set up so the audience has an idea of what he's doing, but nothing is shown with the underage girls. The scenes where Karla is the subject of his anger, things are a lot more intense. The final beatings leave her so badly hurt she has to be hospitalized, and there is a disturbing scene where he "punishes" her for trying to leave him. This film is not for the faint of heart. 

There are some questions I developed over the course of the film. The first is related to wardrobe: in the scene where they are celebrating Christmas, Tammy, Karla, and Paul are all dressed like it’s summer. Why?  The film took place in Canada where the weather around Christmas is usually snowy with temperatures below freezing. It made no sense to me. Also, why was Paul so upset that Tina had seen his face in the house, when she had clearly seen it when he abducted her? My guess is the filmmakers were playing on the fact that he’d taken her at night, so the shadows obscured his face, but that is hard to buy when the viewer can clearly see it. If we can see it, so can Tina.

Overall, as a fictional film, it would be a decent, disturbing, little watch, but I have to deduct points for the lack of accuracy, as well as the way the filmmakers handled this material. The video tapes should have been mentioned as well as Karla’s true involvement – which could have calmed some of the controversy. The acting is done well and makes the film compelling, despite its flaws and inaccuracies.

5.5/10

Fat Kid Rules the World (2012)

Directed by: Matthew Lillard

Starring: Jacob Wysocki, Matt O’Leary, Lili Simmons, Dylan Arnold, and Billy Campbell

Rated: R

Genre: Independent, Drama, Comedy, Coming-of-Age

Based on the Novel by K.L. Going

Troy is a depressed, overweight teenager, with no friends and no passion outside of video games. Marcus is a free-spirited punk-rock musician with no home and a drug problem. Their paths happen to cross one day when, feeling like he can’t take it anymore, Troy steps out in front of an oncoming bus. Marcus tackles him to the ground, saving his life, and beginning an unlikely friendship. The two bond over the idea of creating a band together, and each helps the other in a way he never expects.

This is the directorial debut of Matthew Lillard, and I am quite impressed with this effort. His passion for the film is visible all over his Twitter account, but it is also obvious in the film itself. It truly feels like he cares for these characters, and thus the viewer does as well.

The characters are well-fleshed out. None fit into a cliché mold. At first Troy seems like the typical nerdy, overweight outcast who wants to get a girlfriend and enjoys video games. As the film progresses, he becomes more likable as he airs his issues with his weight and father. He develops a passion for music and a backbone, and he proves what a big heart he truly has. Marcus is a homeless, drug-addled sleazebag who has never known true friendship until he meets Troy. Despite their differences, these boys save each other from themselves. I also really liked how Troy’s father, Mr. Billings (Campbell), was portrayed as a real person and not just a stick-in-the-mud Marine – which is how many teen films would have played it. He is never really the enemy; he just wants his son to be happy, healthy and successful. He may be strict, but he cares very much for his sons and for Marcus.

I found Troy and Marcus to be believable, people I could meet in everyday life. I’ve known guys like both of them, and feel that Wysocki and O’Leary really brought them to life. Campbell was strong as the former-Marine-turned-cop father figure, portraying strict-yet-caring very well. Lili Simmons was cute as Isabel, and Dylan Arnold was annoying, yet believable, as Troy’s younger brother.

What I really liked about this film is that the kids acted like real kids and the adults were also realistic. The boys talked a lot about music and finding gigs, but they also bond over conflicts with parents and being different in general. As aforementioned, Mr. Billings may be a hardass, but he also has a big heart, and he cares about the well-being of all three boys. He gave up the Marine Corps for Troy’s mother, even though he enjoyed it. There is a scene where he is showing Marcus a box of family photos, and he looks longingly at a picture of his late-wife. He’s trying the best he can, and it’s obvious he still struggles without her around.

I thought Marcus’s drug addiction was handled very well too. As someone who has grown up around addiction – especially one to opiates, I found the portrayal accurate. His shaky hands, his lack of personal hygiene, his willingness to use anyone and everyone he can to get his next high. It doesn’t surprise me that his mother gave up on him – that happens sometimes, because the parent needs to distance him/herself from the pain of losing a loved one down such a dark path. Still, the kid is only eighteen, you would think they would have tried a little harder to get him help. My loved one has been in and out of recovery for nearly twelve years, it’s a never-ending battle. I do wish that could have been addressed by the film, but you can only fit so much into an hour and a half, and the important thing is that it left off sending Marcus in a positive direction.

The ending was a little farfetched, but enjoyable. I did feel like it ended abruptly, without us getting to see Troy do what he’s worked so hard for. He begins to play the drums and the credits roll. I wanted to see him rock out and show what he’s really made of. That was the one major drawback to the film; I wanted him to flaunt what he’s accomplished.

Overall, it’s a good little flick. The characters are realistic and well-rounded. The music is cool, and the dramatic elements are handled well. Recommended.

7/10

LOL (2012)

Directed by: Lisa Azuelos

Starring: Miley Cyrus, Demi Moore, Ashley Greene, Jay Hernandez, Douglas Booth, Thomas Jane, and Marlo Thomas

Rated: PG-13

Genre: Teen, Teen Comedy, Drama, Coming of Age

A remake of the French film: LOL: Laughing Out Loud

Lola (Cyrus) begins a new school year thinking everything in her life is perfect. She has two great best friends, a cute boyfriend she adores, and a brand new year ahead of her. Things get slightly derailed when Chad (Mr. Perfect) breaks up with her, and she realizes she may have feelings for her long-time best friend, Kyle (Booth). As the year wears on she experiments with pot, alcohol, and the idea of sex. Her relationship with her mother, Anne (Moore) becomes strained, and all relationships are tested. Lola and her mother are forced to face the changes in their lives in order to move forward.

This movie is brought to you by your friends at Apple/Mac, Coca-Cola, Facebook, MSN, Mentos, and Trojan Condoms. (Sorry, the blatant product placement was annoying.)

Fair warning: Parents, if you are thinking about letting your pre-pubescent daughters watch this because they adore Miley – don’t. This film has its fair share of sex scenes and a strange scene with a chicken you will find hard to explain. This is not for anyone under thirteen, and is rated as such for good reason.

Now, onto the review: I didn’t care much for this film. It is supposed to be a coming-of-age drama/comedy focusing on the life of a sixteen-year-old girl. I didn’t see what anything in this movie did to attribute to “coming-of-age.” All this film displays is a slightly strained mother/daughter relationship and Lola’s transition from one romantic relationship to another. She doesn’t really have to deal with any big upheavals in her life, she doesn’t take an educational journey, and she doesn’t change much at all throughout the entire film.

There is practically no character development whatsoever. All we know about Lola is that she likes indie rock music (and the guys who play it), writes in her journal a lot, and loves her friends. She starts out the film gossiping with her friends – they talk about underwear, boys, the “skanky post-it,” and more boys. They don’t have any real conversation, everything is superficial. When she writes in her diary it is only a sentence, and she often shuts her laptop in mid-chat with someone – these things I didn’t really understand. Also, why would you paste a condom wrapper in your journal? Ew.

All the teen girls are one-dimensional: Ashley is the attention-seeker known as “the post-it;” Emily is very curious about exploring her sexuality (and hoping to do so with her Trig teacher); and Janice has no personality at all, and maybe two lines of dialogue in the entire film.

The parents aren’t much better. We never find out what Anne does for work, although it looks like she might be some kind of interior designer. She likes wine, pot, and sex, and also has two best girlfriends with whom she only discusses men and sex. She tries to relate to her daughters but doesn’t know how, and doesn’t seem to really learn throughout the film. I did appreciate the fact that she was interested in feminism and her inner conflict of the sexually liberated woman being her daughter. I thought that was an interesting point and could have been explored further – such as maybe a discussion with Lola – but of course not. Mother and daughter actually having a real conversation could never fit in this film. Instead they communicate through texts and Facebook messages. Yes, because that’s healthy.

Emily’s mother is ridiculously overly controlling, flipping out over her daughter owning thong underwear and being irrationally rude to pretty much everyone. She has incredibly high standards for her daughter and no redeeming qualities. Janice’s mother tells her that her poor grades won’t matter because she’s pretty and can find a rich husband. (Because that’s all life’s really about.) Kyle’s father needs to seek professional help and some anger management classes.

All of the characters are boring and irritating. The romance between Lola and Kyle is cute when it’s going well, and very frustrating when it’s hitting rough patches. Anne and James (Hernandez) are also pretty cute together. Still, while they are out bonding romantically, the relationship between mother and daughter doesn’t properly heal. The film makes romantic relationships seem more important than the one between Anne and Lola. The majority of the final half of the movie is based around Lola and Kyle making up, while maybe three minutes focuses on repairing damages between mother and daughter. As someone who has always been close with her mother – I feel that relationship is far more important than any guy. Men come and go, but your mother is a permanent fixture in your life, and I feel the relationship deserves more respect than this flick gives it.

The acting was okay at best. I’ve never really been a fan of Miley’s and she didn’t impress me much with this endeavor. Her southern accent was a little anachronistic considering the film was based in Chicago, where she had lived all her life and neither parent had one. Granted, she wasn’t given much to work with, so I will have to see her in more before I can say whether I think she’s talented or not. It’s hard to make a character likable when there’s really nothing to her. Even a seasoned, talented actress like Demi Moore couldn’t keep my interest. She didn’t seem like she even really wanted to be there. The two did act like mother and daughter, to the best of their abilities, but it is hard when the script is so vague. Marlo Thomas is actually the only actor that stood out to me. Her performance as the young-at-heart Gran was amusing and I enjoyed her presence in the film.

The plot as a whole felt kind of pointless. To me this was just another run-of-the-mill teen flick with nothing new to offer. We have shallow teen girls who have poor relationships with their parents and who lust after cute boys. I didn’t feel like anything was accomplished in this film. It was clichéd and predictable.

I also didn't understand why these girls treated their virginity like a disease. They couldn't wait to rid themselves of the pesky thing, apparently to seem "experienced" when they had sex with someone they really wanted to be with. I guess the days of wanting your first time to be special and with someone you love are gone. They also don't seem to realize that having sex one time doesn't make you that experienced - it often takes a lot of experimentation to find what works for you and your partner, and each partner likes different things. I feel like this didn't promote a positive message about sex to the younger viewers. Sex is not something you rush into with just anyone, especially when you've never done it before. Yet, that is just what these girls do: Emily gives it up to prepare her for someone she feels is superior to her current partner. (Also, she gives it up in the boy's bathroom, because that's classy.) 

Lola loses it to someone she does truly love, but not for lack of trying with others. Why is there such a stigma against virgins? Why promote such stigma to young viewers? I think it's irresponsible and doesn't teach young women to have any self-respect. Ugh, at least they promoted safe sex. 

One thing I did like was the band’s music. I thought the song, “Heart on Fire,” was sweet and catchy.

Overall: the movie wasn’t exactly terrible, but it wasn’t good either. It was very bland, cliché and predictable, with no developed characters. The acting could have been better if the performers had more to work with. It also doesn't do a good job promoting a positive relationship between mother and daughter, and the way the subject of sex is treated really bothers me. Skip it.

3.5/10