Devour (2005)

Directed by: David Winkler

Starring: Jensen Ackles, Shannyn Sossamon, Dominique Swain, Teach Grant, William Sadler, and Alan Ackles

Genre: Horror, Thriller, Supernatural, Occult

Rated: R

On his twenty-first birthday, Jake Gray's best friend signs him onto "The Pathway," an internet game where players provide their personal information and get calls from the game telling them to do things. Not long after Jake is signed into "The Pathway" things begin to take a turn for the worse, he loses his job, he begins to have violent visions depicting him harming his loved ones and himself, and his friends begin to die off. As things become progressively weirder, Jake becomes determined to find out what is behind the strange occurrences in town and the deaths of his friends. But Jake will soon find that sometimes the truth is better left untold.

Despite Jensen's numerous warnings at various conventions, this movie isn't as terrible as it could have been. I went into this expecting a disaster. What I got was a flawed, mediocre attempt at a thrilling occult story involving Satanism and devil-worship. Mr. Ackles and I may have different tastes as to what constitutes a terrible film, but after some of the horrible flicks I've sat through, this just rates as "meh."

The story seems to have a slight identity crisis. It starts off with the evil internet game seeming to slowly change the behavior of those who have signed in. It seems to prey upon the hidden secrets, insecurities or fears residing within the players and convinces them to do something about these things. Those that play the game begin to die at their own hands after committing a brutal act of violence. Of those playing, Jake is the only one who seems able to resist the game's coercion, enabling him to investigate what is really going on and discovering it has everything to do with a group of devil worshippers. All of this leading up to the slightly incestuous twist ending. I didn't mind the twist, but it could have been done without the incestuous aspect.

The acting was well-done. For it being his first feature film, Jensen Ackles carries the film well. I felt he did especially well in the scenes of conflict between him and his father, Paul, played by Jensen's real life father, Alan. The two work well together in displaying a strained father/son relationship that, to this fangirl's knowledge, does not exist between them in reality. 

For example, this scene: 

My only fault with Jensen's performance is the Luke Skywalker style "NOOOO!" he lets out at the end of the film upon discovering the last two victims. To someone who has seen this man nail numerous highly emotional scenes since the release of this film, this was a surprising acting choice on his part.

I thought Dominique Swain did a good job portraying the inner conflict of Dakota, a girl who comes off as "easy" but, the movie hints, is dealing with a history of sexual abuse by her father. She made Dakota sexy and silly with a sadness or a void lurking just beneath the surface. She made the character more than just the "token slut" and into someone I could easily care about. I wanted to get to know this character better, but aside from one scene in class, Jake's birthday celebration, the scene at the restaurant where she works, and a slightly hot but mostly awkward sex scene between Dakota and Jake, her character is mostly pushed to the side in favor of far less interesting characters. 

The rest of the performances weren't very noteworthy, even Shannyn Sossamon, who plays Jake's love interest and the closest thing to a leading lady this film has, was rather dull. Did her character, Marisol, and Jake make a cute couple? Yes. But, until the last ten minutes of the film, she's pretty bland. This is not the fault of the actress, the character was written poorly. An actress can only do so much with a bland script.

The characters themselves were pretty flat. Jake is a college student who works as a computer tech and hunts in his spare time. He frequently brings his paralyzed mother orchids at the nursing home, and frequently fights with his apparently ultra-religious father. Oh, and he's been suffering from disturbing visions that he cannot shake off. Still, he's not very interesting, and, truthfully, I probably wouldn't have cared much about him if he was played by a less talented actor.  

As described above, Dakota is by far the most interesting, while Marisol is probably the most boring. Marisol has one quirk, which is her hobby of reading tarot cards. Otherwise she's just a pretty nurse with laptop issues that catches Jake's eye one day and slightly aids him in his quest to solve the mystery of what is happening to his friends.

The one character I didn't really like at all was Conrad, Jake's best friend and, I think, also his cousin (I might be wrong on that one). Conrad is introduced with conflict - Jake has to confiscate a gun from him before he shoots a fellow classmate and that classmate's girlfriend. It is never explained why Conrad hates this classmate, Darius, so much, or why (Slight spoiler) he eventually kills Darius, other than "The Pathway" told him to do it. There is only one scene where Conrad and Jake act like real friends, the rest of the time, Conrad is either attacking Darius or going on about "The Pathway." Also, let's not forget, it's his fault Jake got sucked into the rabbit hole of "The Pathway," in the first place. Conrad, as an overall character, annoyed the hell out of me, and while Jake was devastated to see him go, I was not. 

 Since Conrad's conflict with Darius is never explained, I felt like the scene where he finally kills Darius should have been swapped out with Dakota's final scene.  Her reasons for doing what she does could be considered justified, and her crime is far more interesting in my opinion. Many would argue that the victim had it coming based on his treatment of her from the beginning of the film. The man was a sexual predator and needed to be taken out. However, despite her fully developed storyline, her crime and her death are committed off screen while Conrad's ill-defined storyline gets undeserved attention. 

What is not explained is why the only people that seem to be affected by "The Pathway" are Jake's two closest friends. Then ending explains why they were targeted specifically, as well as the others who meet their end within the film. However, it is stated that this game is popular, so why isn't there anyone else acting strange in town? No one else at Jake's college seems to have  succumbed to this strange behavior, nor any adults or teenagers in the neighborhood. I mean, I know this game is "elite" but you would think at least a few other people in town would have logged on and become fellow players. This plot could have developed into something far bigger, but the disappointing reveal of local devil worshippers being behind the entire thing kept the premise from spreading too far from the small town the film is set in.

The entire time I was watching this film I kept wondering why it was even called, Devour rather than The Pathway, which would have made more sense. I know this was technically answered in a brief, blink-and-you'll-miss-it shot of a plaque in a church depicting a passage from the Bible with the word "devour" in it, but it still doesn't feel fitting to me. "The Pathway" is the initial cause of Jake's problems, and it is mentioned in the film far more than the word "devour," or the Bible verse briefly depicted. 

Overall, this film isn't as terrible as Jensen has been known to claim, but it isn't anything special either. It's a rather tame attempt at a tale of devil worship that mixes aspects of Stay Alive, The Ring, and The Omen into yet another mediocre entry in the horror genre. This is not really worth the watch unless you're a Jensen Ackles fan and want to see some of his work pre-Supernatural. If you are just curious about the sex scene, don't waste your time with the entire movie, Youtube has you covered:

You aren't missing much by skipping this one.

4.5/10

Trailer: 

#Horror (2015)

Directed by: Tara Subkoff

Starring: Chloe Savigny, Timothy Hutton, Sadie Seelert, Haley Murphy, Bridget McGarry, Blue Lindeburg, Mina Sundwall, and Emma Adler

Genre: Horror, Slasher, Thriller

Rated: Not Rated

Six preteen girls having a slumber party are in for a night of horror as an unknown killer begins to pick them off one by one.

This film tried desperately to make a social commentary regarding our dependence on our phones and social media, as well as to make a point about the negative effects of cyberbullying. The girls the film centers around are hooked on this interactive mode of social media that is something of a cross between Candy Crush and Instagram. They snap pictures of each other and post them online with tags that range from cute to cuttingly mean. For instance, one girl, Kat, takes a picture of three of the others and tags it "#fatuglybitches," and one of Georgie, the overweight member of the group, tagging her as a fat pig, or something similar. However, these are the only instances of actual cyberbullying, the rest of the time, the girls are just bullies with no creativity when they cannot be glued to their phones. Apparently this addiction to social media and one's cell phone is an epidemic that affects the adults in the lives of these girls also, as more than one girl states that she feels invisible to her parents as they would rather be on their phones than spend time with her.

I wanted to like this film but there is so much wrong with it that I found that impossible. I've been looking for a horror movie that tackles the problem of cyberbullying head on and actually does a decent job of making the viewer think twice before posting something cruel online, but have had no success. I also couldn't bring myself to really sympathize with any of the central characters. I understand we are supposed to identify with and root for Sam, but she put me off in the beginning of the film with the rude way she spoke to her obviously loving, involved mother. Maybe after her ordeal she'll learn to appreciate the kind of mother she has, but nothing can be certain as she didn't really show much growth throughout the film. She did, however, half-heartedly try to stand up for the other girls when they were being bullied, and she did risk her own life to try and help girls who really didn't deserve it, so her character gets a few points of redemption on that front. The only other character that wasn't a complete waste was Francesca, who, while still a jerk, knew when enough was enough. Lastly, Ava wasn't too bad either, but she disappears pretty early on once the slasher aspects of the film kick in, so we don't really get to know her.

The three remaining girls I have absolutely no sympathy for. I tried to feel bad for Georgie when the other girls picked on her for her weight. As a supporter of the Healthy at Any Size movement and a believer that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, I refuse to judge someone by their weight, and find people who do judge for that reason disgusting and shallow. What these girls said to Georgie, constantly barraging her with snide remarks about her weight, telling her to stop eating when she eats for comfort, ridiculing any ideas she has about getting exercise, and telling her to kill herself, was uncalled for and hurtful. I did want to slap the hell out of the girls when they were saying those things to her. However, Georgie is not a sympathetic person, because instead of standing up and walking away from these girls who say such hurtful things to her, she turns around and joins them when they switch their attention to another girl in the group. Georgie also hurls homophobic slurs at Francesca, which automatically turns me against her. I don't care if you're overweight, I do care if you're an ignorant asshole individual.

The last two brats we have on the roster are Sofia and Kat, both spoiled, self-absorbed, entitled rich bitches girls who think they can do and say whatever they want. Sofia is the Queen Bee of the group and all the other girls fawn over her, regardless of the fact that she's a cruel little troll who will turn on any of her so-called friends in a second. Kat is even crueler than Sofia, as she is willing to take it far past a little underhanded bullying and tell someone straight to their face to kill themselves. This comment is too cruel, even for Sofia, and she actually finds herself kicked out of the house.

I've said it in prior reviews and I will say it again, I cannot find a horror movie scary if I do not care about the characters. As aforementioned, the young girls are entitled little trolls, but the parents aren't any more likable. Sofia's father is cheating on her mother, Alex, in the opening scene, while Alex tries to get in the pants of the workmen at her home. Alex also drives drunk and leaves six obviously unbalanced preteen girls home alone. (Yes, I stayed home alone at twelve, but I wasn't a psychotic little turd either.) Dr. White, Kat's father, seems too busy for her until it may be too late, then he goes off the deep end and barges into Sofia's house to terrorize the remaining seventh grade girls.

There were things I absolutely didn't understand, such as Sam's supposed psychic abilities/sensitivities - an aspect of her character that adds absolutely nothing to the story. What was the point of her having these "sensitivities"? They don't help her in any way, and actually detract from the plot. I also don't understand the desperate need the underling girls had to be friends with girls like Sofia and Kat. I guess these two must be the most popular in their grade, but what's the point in being popular when you don't have any real friends you can count on? I guess when you're twelve that spotlight looks awfully inviting, no matter how much you have to suffer to be in it. Lastly, this is a film centered around preteen girls, was it really necessary for the opening scene to involve a woman writhing in orgasm in the front seat of a car? Also, what purpose does it serve to have her walking around in the middle of winter wearing nothing but a skimpy negligee under a trench coat?

I think the one thing I hated the most aside from the girls themselves was the Candy Crush/Instagram social media program the girls were addicted to - as it came up as part of the actual film, transitioning scenes, introducing the idiotic characters, and depicting their photos that they post online. The fast-pacing and bright colors hurt my eyes, and I found it distracting from the actual storyline rather than helping it along. I also hated the emojis popping up randomly, as I also found them distracting. Other viewers seem to disagree, but, as someone who doesn't really use many emojis in my daily life, I'd rather not have them overtaking my horror films. It's not cute, it's not creative, it's juvenile and irritating.

There is very little to no suspense, the kills are rapid, and the gore effects merely decent. The death on the tennis court had potential, but was cut way too short despite the tension that was building up. The attempted drowning in the pool was the only scene that had a tangible amount of tension. The rest fell flat. Lastly, the killer was extremely predictable and but hardly believable.

The only aspect of the movie that I did like was the setting - the house is huge, modern, and boxy which I hate, however the vast amount of windows does add to the tension. I liked the way the art seems to pulse or move in a creepy fashion, and I loved that there was a constant dusting of snow falling from the sky. Also, the filmmaker didn't get it wrong when she depicted slumber party activities of young girls - dressing up, goofing off with the camera, swimming in the pool if your friend is lucky/rich enough to have one, dancing silly, watching movies and playing games like sharing secrets are all part of the slumber party package - though my friends and I were chowing down on junk food while these scrawny runts are "on a diet, Mom! God, how can you be so stupid?!"

Overall, another lame attempt at capturing the negative effects of bullying/cyber bullying, which is a shame, as this is a great, powerful concept to explore. The characters are obnoxious, spoiled little twits in dire need of a swat upset the head, and the game/social media almost being a character ruins a lot of the potential for me.  The gore effects were decent, kills rapid, and killer predictable. Avoid this one. 

3.5/10

Peace, Love, & Misunderstanding (2011)

Directed by: Bruce Beresford

Starring: Jane Fonda, Catherine Keener, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Elizabeth Olsen, Chase Crawford, Nat Wolff, Marissa O'Donnell, Rosanna Arquette and Kyle McLachlan

Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance

Rated: R

When her husband announces he wants a divorce, uptight New York City attorney, Diane Hudson, packs her young adult children in the car and takes them on a vacation to stay with her eccentric, hippie mother in Woodstock. Having been estranged from her mother, Grace, for twenty years, Diane has a hard time coming home and an even more difficult time understanding what brought her back. Slowly, but surely, the charms of her hometown start to loosen her up, as she and her children begin to explore themselves and find out who they really are.

Fair warning, this film contains male nudity, alcohol consumption, marijuana consumption, pagan spirituality and a lot of liberal politics. If any of that bothers you, you may want to avoid this one. The rest of you, please follow me as we continue with the review. 

I wasn't sure what to expect going into this film, but I'm glad I decided to watch it. I was in need of a relaxing, feel-good film with relatable, likable characters and a decent plot and this film delivered. I enjoy films that take me on a journey of self-discovery and letting go of the past with the characters, and Diane is reluctantly leading the way, with her daughter, Zoe, and son, Jake, not far behind.

Diane is the exact opposite of her mother, Grace, and has spent forty years resenting Grace for her free spirit, obsession with art, sexual nature, marijuana use, and liberal politics. Despite staying with Grace, she doesn't want Grace rubbing off on Zoe and Jake, not seeming to realize her kids may have minds of their own. It takes a few days, good company with free spirited ladies, and a budding relationship with Jude, a man very much her opposite, to get Diane to unwind and begin to let go. Once she starts, she can never really stop, even when she returns to her stuffy New York City life.

Zoe reluctantly begins to fall for Cole, an educated, organic food pushing, peace loving young man who works at the local butcher shop - a career choice Zoe has a hard time supporting as she appears to be either vegetarian or vegan. (The film isn't clear on which, but Zoe is very upset about the thought of killing animals.) She's conflicted despite Cole's explanation for why he does what he does and has a hard time determining if she wants to be with him or not.

The ladies of the Hudson family aren't the only ones to find relationships in Woodstock, as shy, nerdy teenager Jake meets his equally shy and nerdy muse, Tara, at an anti-war protest. Tara, in turn, inspires him to create his first short film with the footage he's constantly collecting with his video camera while vacationing in Woodstock. 

This film made me want to move to this fictionalized version of Woodstock. While I'm not much for smoking pot, I do enjoy enlightened, liberal minded, free spirits who prefer to promote peace and love and supporting one another, rather than fighting, hating and judging one another. The background characters, Grace, Jude, Cole and Tara are all relaxed, happy people who just go about their lives living as they want and enjoying life's natural beauty. These folks are what the Hudson family needs to help them shake off their negative energy and find relaxing positivity and happiness. Jude explains it best when he tells Diane, "you are so caught up in fighting everyone that you can't let in those who love you the most ... Let it go. ... The fight is like a sandbag you need to release in order for the balloon to float into the sky." (This is a bit paraphrased, not an exact quote.) 

The acting was done well, and all actors were perfectly cast. Jane Fonda embodies all that is lively, fun and free within Grace, and really brings the character to life. Catherine Keener does well as the uptight Diane, knowing how to show Diane's slow evolution into a freer spirit as it gradually happens. In the beginning of the film, her face is tight, wan and stressed, but as the film progresses her face becomes less severe, brighter though still serious, until she is finally able to smile. Elizabeth Olsen's performance is similar, though she's more light-hearted, she is still closed off when it comes to love, and again, appears to become happier as her character opens herself up to new ideas and experiences. Nat Wolff is adorably awkward, making Jake a relatable film geek that doesn't have the first clue how to approach a girl. Lastly, Jeffrey Dean Morgan is ridiculously charming as hippie musician and carpenter, Jude, bringing a gentle softness to the character that is refreshing for me as I am used to his gruff portrayal of John Winchester on Supernatural. 

I really liked that while everyone still paired off with their perfect mate, the sole purpose was not about finding romantic love. It was about finding oneself through a community of peers, some of whom think differently than you do, but can teach you a lot about yourself if you're willing to open yourself up and listen. Yes, Zoe and Diane find this through romantic partners, but it is their relationship with Grace that loosens them up enough to accept these men who are far different from who they believe themselves to be. I felt the message of the film was more, "In order to have a successful relationship, you need to embrace yourself, open yourself up to new experiences and ideas, find someone who builds you up and embraces you for you, and embrace them for who they are in turn." Which is a much better message than the typical, "Romantic love is all you need." This is a film that promotes all kinds of love, whether it is the love of a family, the love of a community, or romantic love. We all need a variety of love and support in our lives, and it is nice that this film doesn't negate any form in which love and peace can be found. 

Overall, this was an enjoyable watch film that promotes self discovery, inner peace, and a variety of love ranging from that of your community, your friends, a romantic partner and your family. I found this movie heart-warming and inspiring. I will likely be making another visit to this version of Woodstock someday. 

7/10

Fuller House (2016 - )

Genre: TV Show, Children/Family, Comedy, Sitcom

Rated: TV-G - generally suited for all ages

Season 1:

Starring: Candace Cameron Bure, Jodie Sweetin, Andrea Barber, Michael Campion, Elias Harger, Soni Bringas, and Dashiell and Fox Messitt

Guest Starring: Bob Saget, John Stamos, Lori Laughlin, Dave Coulier, Scott Weinger, John Brotherton, Juan Pablo de Pace, Asley Lao, Macy Gray and Hunter Pence

This made-for-Netflix revival of the beloved sitcom, Full House, picks up 20 years after its predecessor ended. DJ Tanner-Fuller, recently widowed, has moved back in with her father, Danny, bringing along her three boys, Jackson, Max and Tommy. The show opens with a reunion of the original characters for a farewell party as Danny, Jesse and Becky are moving to Los Angeles to advance their careers. Joey has flown in from Las Vegas where he has a successful comedy career, Stephanie has flown in from England where she has been a fairly successful DJ, and Kimmy Gibler barges in as always, only this time she has a thirteen-year old daughter in tow. It is in this episode, DJ realizes she isn't going to be able to raise the boys all on her own, and Stephanie and Kimmy decide to move in and help her out. 

This show follows the same formula as the original, only this time the girls the majority of the viewers grew up with are now in charge of three young boys and one teenage girl. DJ has taken over Danny's role as the responsible, knowledgeable, mature parent, Stephanie has taken on Uncle Jesse's role of the cool relative trying to find a balance between the music industry and family, and Kimmy takes on Joey's role as the goofy best friend of the responsible parent. I truly enjoyed seeing what the women the characters I grew up with have become. 

DJ has her three boys, Jackson who is thirteen, Max who is about 8, and Tommy who is still an infant. Jackson is alright, but he needs to quit calling himself  "J-Money" when he's trying to be cool before I reach through the screen and smack him upside the head. Max is a cute little nerdy kid, but can be over the top sometimes - though that is probably to be expected from a character in that age bracket. Kimmy's daughter, Ramona, has a bit of an attitude due to her parents' separation, but she is, for the most part, likable. 

The show tries to offer a little something for all viewers, both those who are older and likely were fans of the original series and to the new viewers,  likely children. There are a few themes for the kids, such as finding your inner confidence to perform in front of an audience for the first time, making friends at a new school, approaching a crush for the first time, learning to share your room with a younger sibling, and the competition between siblings when it comes to winning games. The adults deal with dating, romantic relationships, motherhood, balancing responsibility with fun, career advancement, and above all, taking care of themselves. Love and relationships are a central issue for our three leading ladies as DJ finds herself caught in a love triangle between her hunky fellow veterinarian, Matt, and high school sweetheart, Steve, Kimmy struggles with whether or not to forgive her cheating estranged husband, and Stephanie is still searching for someone special. However, these ladies always put their friendship and the wellbeing of each other before their suitors and that is always nice to see.

What I like about this show is that it is a revival of the old sitcom style that I grew up with - one that the whole family would tune in for on a Friday night. I like that the formula is the same and that I am now following DJ, Stephanie and Kimmy as grown women, once again sharing their experiences. I really like that this show makes multiple references back to the original, quoting each character's catch phrases - for example, Jesse's "Have Mercy!" or Stephanie's "How Rude!" - and even showing clips from the original series. I also enjoy that this series breaks the fourth wall with cracks about Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen "not having to act anymore," explaining Michelle's absence with her "being busy with her clothing line in New York," making jokes about child actresses, and DJ asking Steve if he knew who Alanis Morisette's "You Oughta Know" is really about (Dave Coulier). I like that the girls stick by each other and support each other no matter what, when so many shows depict women ditching each other as soon as a man enters the picture. I also love that Bob Saget, Dave Coulier, John Stamos and Lori Loughlin make regular guest appearances. Lastly, I love the episode where Joey takes the electronic devices from the kids, locks the devices away, and reminds them how to have good old messy fun. 

The first episode of the series is rather cringe-worthy as the first half is entirely devoted to exposition and introduction of the characters, and doing nothing to disguise the constant explanations of what the each character has done, is planning to do, or backstory. It picks up toward the end of episode one, but it is rough going for the first twenty minutes or so. I do not like Fernando, Kimmy's estranged husband, or her seriously considering getting back together with him when he admits to cheating on her multiple times. Once a cheater, always a cheater, and I don't like the message that cheating can be forgiven if the offending party acts crazy enough about you. I also don't like how flamboyantly Fernando fits the stereotype of the Latin lover who just cannot remain faithful, or really anything about his character whatsoever. He is irritating and I hope he fades to the sidelines in the coming seasons so Kimmy can find a more deserving partner. I also do not like how Steve is so clingy and fixated on DJ - it makes his character who was once such a great fit for her now seem annoying and obsessive, traits that would drive me far away from him, as sweet and adoring as he is. Lastly, I do not like how they made Becky so baby obsessed - as in, preferring to spend more time with her infant nephew than anyone else and trying to steal him. With the exception of the rose delivery mystery, her and Jesse's vow renewal and one night out with DJ, Kimmy and Stephanie she is constantly with Tommy whenever she visits the Fuller home. They began to back away from this theme toward the season finale, and I hope they continue to do so in future episodes. 

Overall, this is a fun revival of a much beloved classic from my childhood. While it has some flaws, it's still fun and addictive enough to binge all thirteen Season One episodes in a weekend. I enjoyed my visit to the Fuller House, and will happily return for Season Two.

6.5/10

** Reviewer's Note** As this is an ongoing series, I will update this entry with the reviews for the new seasons as they come out. Feel free to check back after the next season premieres. 

April Fool's Day (1986) v. April Fool's Day (2008)

April Fool's Day (1986)

Directed by: Fred Walton

Starring: Jay Baker, Deborah Foreman, Deborah Goodrich, Ken Olandt, Griffin O'Neal, Leah Pinsent, Clayton Rohner, Amy Steel and Thomas F. Wilson

Genre: Horror, Slasher, Mystery, Horror Comedy

Rated: R

It's April Fool's Day and a group of college seniors are embarking on a fun weekend at Muffy St. John's secluded island mansion. These young twenty-somethings are prepped for a weekend of good food, good company, a bit of partying and a bit of sex. What they are not prepared for: being picked off one by one by an unseen assailant.

The plot is reminiscent of Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None, a story I absolutely adore. Both in this film and Christie's novel, a group of people are invited to a secluded island mansion where they receive clues pointing to character secrets and are slowly picked off one by one. However, while Christie's novel is highly crafted and suspenseful, this film takes a more relaxed, fun-loving approach with the characters hanging out, having dinner and pranking each other well into the evening.  The kills don't begin to happen until well after most of the characters are tucked into bed and the characters  don't begin to realize anything is wrong until the first body is discovered the following afternoon.

 Despite the easy-going air this film takes, the film is able to bring the suspense. The secluded island setting and the fact that it can only be reached by boat gives the film a claustrophobic feel, knowing these characters are trapped on the island with the killer until help arrives. A score reminiscent of the Friday the 13th films does well to remind the viewer that this is a horror movie and sets a darker tone as people begin to disappear.

The best way to generate suspense is to have likable characters. Here we actually have a rarity in the slasher subgenre where the characters are seemingly more than just the cliches typically portrayed in similar movies. These folks are relatable. These are young people realizing this is their last big hurrah before they graduate and are forced into true adulthood, and they honestly don't know what they're doing which is refreshing and realistic. The girls talk openly and honestly about sex - the "virgin survivor" trope is unwelcome here, as there isn't a single virgin among them. Both Kit and Nikki are very open with their partners about what they do and do not want in the bedroom, and Kit is even a little aggressive about getting it. The girls also are self sufficient and don't hide behind the boys when something needs to be done. The guys all seem like real friends that laugh and joke around. They aren't afraid of being close to one another and even jokingly show affection. Chaz and Arch have what can only be described as a bromance, which isn't common among male characters in horror.

This is a film that is either loved or hated by those in the horror community due to the twist ending - some find it clever, others find it awful. Another complaint many have is the lack of gore and nudity. I am of the former school of thought. I find the ending to this movie a little farfetched, but clever, fitting for the theme, and a refreshing change of pace for the genre. Also, while I am a lover of creative kills and gore, the lack thereof does not ruin the film for me as the timing and locations of the discovery of the bodies was almost perfectly done. This is just one of many films that prove offscreen deaths can work just as well as onscreen kills if the cast and atmosphere are strong enough.

Overall, this is an under-rated 1980s gem with likable characters, a good mix of humor and suspense, a lack of gore, and a twist ending that you'll either enjoy or despise. It is worth at least one watch for all horror fans.

6.5/10

April Fool's Day (2008)

Directed By: The Butcher Brothers

Starring: Taylor Cole, Josh Henderson, Scout Taylor-Compton, Joe Egender, Jennifer Siebel Newsom, Samuel Child, Joseph Mckelheer and Sabrina Aldridge

Genre: Slasher, Horror

Rated: UnratedApril Fool's Day 2007: the Cartier siblings Desiree and Blaine are hosting the Debutante Ball for their new friend and aspiring actress, Torrance. When Desiree's rival, Milan Hastings shows up, Desiree devises a prank to ruin Milan, a prank that inadvertently goes horribly wrong and results in Milan's death. One year later, someone knows the truth behind Milan's death, and will stop at nothing to destroy those involved.

This "remake" is more like a cross between I Know What You Did Last Summer and Cruel Intentions than the original film. Aside from the twist ending, this could almost be listed as a remake in name and theme only.

The likeable, somewhat realistic characters of the original have been replaced by arrogant, self-absorbed and filthy rich little shits young people in their late teens or early twenties. There isn't a single likable character among them, and quite frankly, I wanted them all to die. The only somewhat decent character was killed in the 2007 "prank." Desiree is a venomous bitch who craves money and being the center of attention. The film tries to redeem her from the heinous person she is in the beginning of the movie by subjecting her to the deaths of her friends, but her reactions to these deaths are so stupid the viewer just finds another reason to dislike her. In fact, none of the characters find redemption, and those that weren't so bad in the beginning find a way to make themselves unlikable by the end. Then, SLIGHT SPOILER, in the end, you find out the killer's motive wasn't to avenge the death of Milan at all, but as revenge for something far more selfish and pathetic.

The setting has been moved from a secluded New England island to in-town in one of the Carolinas. While the move from the north to the south doesn't bother me, the complete removal of the secluded claustrophobic atmosphere does. Instead of being stranded and having to await the arrival of the constable from the mainland for help as the characters in the original had to do, the remake's characters are literally running and/or driving all over town. They could have sought help from anyone at any time, but due to a cryptic warning from a package delivered to them at a Milan's grave, they decide not to do the one thing that could actually save them - going to the police. Yes, before anyone brings it up in the comments, Blaine does make an attempt at phoning the police, but only to report Charles's murder, not to get help for the danger he and Desiree are in.

The death scenes provide more gore and substance than those of the original, but that doesn't necessarily make them better. Sure we see someone get electrocuted (in an elaborate scheme impossible for a human killer to enact), hit by a car, drown, get their throat slit and take a gunshot to the head at close range. However, these deaths are not effective because the viewer cannot bring him/herself to care about any of the victims. I was glad to see each of these vindictive, self centered assholes get taken out, and, considering their personalities, the deaths weren't fitting enough - especially when the twist ending is taken into account.

While the twist ending in the original lightened the tension and brought the film to a close on a happy note, the remake uses it as a tool to prove just how painfully privileged, conceited and greedy the characters really are. As stated above, the killer's motive wasn't about avenging Milan's death at all, but centered around his/her own selfish gripe with Desiree that relates to the night Milan died.

Over all, everyone in this movie needs a punch in the face. There are no likable or relatable characters, the death scenes are alright effects wise, but not moving in any other way, and the setting removes any atmosphere the original achieved. The story is something resembling the demented spawn of I Know What You Did Last Summer and Cruel Intentions crossed with the brats from My Super Sweet 16. Despite all this, it's not even so much anger inducing as it is bland and forgettable. Skip this and watch the original instead.

3.5/10